


How do you like your coffee in the evening?

by SlaveToMyKeyboard



Series: After Earth [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Ashen Romance | Auspistice, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Connected Drabbles, Domestic Fluff, Ficlet Collection, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Gill!Kat, Human/Troll Hybrids, Light Sensory Deprivation, M/M, No Retcon AU, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Polyamory, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Quadrant Vacillation, Reader-Interactive, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, accidental injury, because quadrants
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-05-21 15:58:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6057451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlaveToMyKeyboard/pseuds/SlaveToMyKeyboard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Four dweebs stumbling through the magical world of quadrants in a post-game world where there's only... 32?  - No wait, 34, always forget the cherubs - 34 living beings capable of conversation on the whole planet. They thought it would be boring, but boy were they ever wrong.</p><p>Also known as my outlet for all the Dave love that I've been hoarding since I first read homestuck over two years ago, but couldn't decide who I shipped him with. My solution: ship him with my other three favourites of course!</p><p>A reader-driven story where the POV character of each new chapter is chosen by voting in the comments.</p><p>Chapters can also be read independently of each other, so this is more like a collection of ficlets set in the same AU (this includes the other fics in this series, which are all connected story-wise but you don't need to read them all)</p><p>DaveSol, EriKar and DaveKat have been posted. Next chapter will be EriSol, then a vote between EriDave and SolKat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. With a Kiss

“ _Dave_! Where the fuck is my coffee?”

Karkat’s voice echoes through the apartment, his already frustrated tone made rougher by the fact that he’s only been awake for a few minutes.

Dave just sighs, “If you’re going to be like that then you can wait all Goddamn night for your coff– _ah_ fuck!” His muttered rant is interrupted by his horns colliding with the shelf above.

He reacts just in time to put up a hand and steady the jar of sugar before it topples over, but that sweet catch does not make up for the complete lack of cool caused by forgetting that he now has to leave an extra half a foot of space above his head. Every. Single. Morning. Or is it evening? This nocturnal thing is still confusing this early.

“Did you hit your hornth again?” A nasally voice chimes in, adding a familiar chuckle afterwards.

Dave can hear the other two Trolls in his bedroom also laughing; Karkat unhindered but Eridan’s slightly muffled. How did such a fine specimen of Strider become the main source of slapstick entertainment for a species that has literally run out of movie titles? It’s a fucking travesty.

“Are you okay Davve?” Asks the sea-dweller, using his ‘ _don’t worry Dave,_ I _care about you_ ’ voice.

“Yeah.” The former Human calls back, dumping appropriate levels of sugar and cream into all of the mugs.

Oh yeah, the way he’s carrying four cups of the best fucking coffee anyone’s ever tasted is totally winning back some cool kid cred. Look, not a single drop spilled as the drinks are delivered to each pair of expectant, sleepy hands. Eridan gets a cup of milk that had coffee waved over it and a kiss on the forehead, because he may have just been sucking up but at least he cared enough to ask.

“Thank you Davve.” He says sweetly, fluttering his fins like a puppy wagging its tail.

Sollux gets a black with two sugars and a nod, because things are still a little uncertain there.

He nods back, “Thankth.”

Lastly, Captain Vantas of the Monumental Assholes gets a regular white and a bitten ear, because he could at least _try_ and look grateful. He growls and Dave reflexively snarls back – another thing that he’s still not used to – but the next bite lands on Karkat’s lips, so it’s all good as far as Dave is concerned.

“Thanks asswipe.” Karkat mutters, giving Dave a proper kiss before reclining back to enjoy his coffee.

He always was a hopeless romantic, even in blackrom. Dave guesses that’s what makes it so easy for them to flip red sometimes, and even he has to admit that it is annoyingly endearing. It’s also why he was surprised to find that this whole poly, four-way, quadrant-flipping mess they’re in was Karkat’s idea. Not that he’s complaining though, especially not when he can finally understand what quadrants actually are in this new half-Troll body of his.

It’s been over a year since they finished the game, and any worries that having only… 32? – no, wait, 34, always forgetting the cherubs – 34 living beings capable of conversation on this new planet would be boring, were very quickly forgotten when everyone woke up as a brand new species. Turns out that social camouflage is a big deal in this universe, because the ability to switch between a ‘Human’ colour pallet and a ‘Troll’ colour pallet is apparently a thing now. The horns stay regardless though, as do blood colours and the uh… _Downstairs_ changes. At least repopulation won’t be much of an issue once the new mother grub stops being a literal grub.

It was difficult at first, more so for the Humans, who had to deal with all of the weird emotions that come from Troll romance, but everyone’s natural hoarding payed off in the form of some surviving schoolfeeding grubs. It could only be described as mortifying, having to sit in a room together and go through sex-ed again, but it happened and everyone begrudgingly admitted that it helped. It also stopped the Trolls having to explain it to their Human partners themselves, which would have been a thousand times worse.

Speaking of partners, Dave’s are finally beginning to wake up enough to hold a proper conversation.

“So what’s on the agenda tonight?” Karkat asks, running a hand through his Matesprit’s blond-streaked hair.

The sea-dweller purrs appreciatively and puts his mug down, then wraps his arms around the smaller boy's waist.

Naturally, everyone favours their normal appearances – or as normal as Humans with horns can get – so Dave still isn’t used to seeing the Trolls in technicolour, which they usually choose to be whenever they stay over at his house.

“I wath thinking more thleep.” Sollux replies, tracing a pale hand up Karkat’s bare, caramel-coloured arm.

“You wwould say that.” Eridan scoffs, reaching over Karkat’s legs to kick his Kismesis in the shin.

“I don’t think staying in bed is such a bad idea.” Dave says, shuffling close enough to pull his own Kismesis’ legs onto his lap.

Karkat makes an indignant little noise, but for once doesn’t attempt to break Dave’s nose. Things were awkward when this all started, well, awkward for Dave anyway, who would frequently ask ‘ _is this okay?_ ’ when he wanted to try out a quadrant with someone, to which his boyfriends would roll their eyes and reply with various iterations of ‘ _of course it’s okay we’ve told you a thousand times_ ’ and then take turns kissing him.

He quickly decided that he likes black with Karkat the most; seeing him get all hot and bothered as they flirtatiously argue is one of the highlights of his day – um night. Eridan obviously needed someone to be pale, but Karkat was already too invested in a redrom to be a decent Moirail, something that he freely admitted. It was pretty easy though; the guy’s pitiable as fuck and soaks up attention like a sponge that’s been lost in the no-longer-existent-Sahara for a month. Captor… It’s more of a bromance situation than actual romance. Which is totally cool, because Sollux is the shit at video games and has a pretty good sense for putting tunes together. Dave sometimes ponders trying redrom with him eventually, seeing as they’ve both got that quadrant free now.

“A night in bed it is then?” Eridan asks, still swaddling Karkat like a hotdog bun around a – nope, okay wrong analogy.

“Fine by me.” Karkat is the last one to add his mug to the growing collection on bedside table, stopping to kiss his Matesprit on the way back and sending a light blush into both of their cheeks.

Then Eridan's stomach gives a loud rumble and he abruptly turns several shades more violet. Dave tries not to laugh – if only to make up for Eridan doing the same for him earlier – and so does Karkat, but Sollux has no qualms about telling him just how funny his face looks.

“Maybe getting some actual fucking breakfast would be better,” Karkat says, patting the sea-dweller’s growling belly, “how does everyone feel about pancakes?”

“Oh hell yes.” Who cares if Kismesises aren’t supposed to agree on things? Not Dave – Vantas pancakes are the best pancakes, and anyone who says otherwise is either a horrible liar or has no taste.

“Hell fucking yeth.” Sollux adds, giving Dave a high-five.

“Can I help?” Eridan asks as Karkat detangles himself from the various limbs and bodies sprawled across the mattress.

“Sure, come on.” Karkat takes his hand and drags him up, both of them giggling as Eridan decides to start a game of ass-grab. To be honest, that’s probably the only reason he offered to help in the first place, but it’s the thought that counts.

Dave takes their place on the bed, listening to Sollux texting next to him and Karkat barking orders about milk and flour, whilst Eridan tries to tell him that they should definitely put blueberries _and_ chocolate chips in. With no real jobs and a pretty lax schedule now that everything is up and running in their little town, this is how most evenings go, especially when big groups get together like this and just laze around with each other all night.

Karkat and Eridan return some time later with at least a dozen pancakes that have various amounts of chocolate and blueberries, giving them a cow-print look, or whatever animal has taken ownership of that pattern on this new planet. Dave thinks they still look pretty much like cows, but he can’t say for sure, and as long as they make milk and steak, he doesn’t really care.

Everyone squishes into the bed with their plates, trying not to spill syrup on each other or the covers, but somethings got to give, and before long Dave is licking some of the liquid sugar of dubious origin off of his arm, and Karkat is telling him to be more careful. Yes, because Karkat not holding his plate level was _definitely_ Dave’s fault. No arguments.

Now that we’re watching this lovely scene of domesticity unfold before us, how about we try delving into the memories of one of these lovely gentlemen?

> CHARACTER SELECT:

DAVE          KARKAT          ERIDAN          SOLLUX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is a totally new experiment for me, not only because this is the first thing I've posted here that hasn't been 2nd person, but also because of the whole poly quadrant-flipping thing, which I've never tried before, so bear with me. It's also my first reader-driven anything, so yay for new experiences?
> 
> Also, chapters will most likey all be little ficlet stories that took place before this first one, so don't expect a linear story.
> 
> As for pairings of the next four chapters...  
> Picking Dave will be DaveKat  
> Picking Karkat will be EriKar  
> Picking Eridan will be EriSol  
> Picking Sollux will be DaveSol
> 
> Let's say at least 3 votes for someone or a week since the last update is when I'll post a new chapter.
> 
> And once we've cycled through all four characters, I'll start just doing whatever or taking pairing/situation suggestions, we'll see where it goes (also not sure if I want smut yet?) I do want to do 'how this quadrant happened' chapters for everyone though, probably after these four.


	2. With Honey (Dave/Sollux)

** CHARACTER SELECT: **

** DAVE ** ** KARKAT          ERIDAN          > SOLLUX**

** CONFIRM SELECTION: **

** NO              > YES **

You are now Sollux Captor, and you have no idea what a ‘bro-date’ is, but you’re just bored enough to consider going on one. Dave texted you this evening with a reminder to take your medicine, which you had already done because of Karkat’s message a few minutes beforehand, but having two people remind you was oddly comforting, so you thanked him instead of getting mad.

TG: so are you doing anything tonight?

You’d raised a suspicious eyebrow at the words on the screen following the expression of your gratitude, but replied to him anyway,

TA: ye2 ii have a gold trophy two wiin and a viiru2 two code for KK 2o whatever 2hiit you’re planniing you can go do iit wiith ED iin2tead.

Satisfied that you had warned him off of trying to drag you out of your hive, you went back to doing what had been your main activity for the past hour – and continues to be now – which is lying on the floor of your block and staring at the ceiling.

TG: cool so you arent doing anything

Excuse you, did you not just tell him that you were busy?

TA: ii remember expliiciitly 2tatiing that ii am iin fact very bu2y wiith very iimportant thiing2 and iif you don’t miind ii would liike two contiinue tho2e thiing2 iin peace.

TG: what game are you playing

TA: cod of war.

TG: so am i

TG: and my game says that you havent been online for six hours

TA: ii’m offliine.

TG: there is no offline mode

TG: your move captor

Shit. You blame the headache for that appalling slip in your memory.

TA: fiine DV you got me iim the biigge2t nook2niffing liiar that anyone of any 2peciie2 ha2 ever had the mii2fortune two know.

TA: now what the fuck do you want?

That was when he proceeded to suggest that the two of you have a ‘bro-date’, and refused to explain what in God’s name that meant unless you agreed to it. Which you did, of course, because you’ve been bored shitless for a solid week now and if you have to listen to another one of Mituna’s jokes, then you’re going to snap like the fucking twig people often compare your physique to. But you made sure to seem pretty blasé about his offer; don’t want him getting ahead of himself and thinking that you actually want to go on a date with him. Appearing equally nonchalant, Dave told you to ‘wait there’ – again, no objections on your part – and that he was on his way over.

That was over twenty minutes ago, and you’re not a particularly impatient person – regardless of what Karkat says – but your fingers are twitching around your phone as it rests on your stomach, seconds away from messaging Dave to tell him that _he’s_ the lying piece of shit for being late when his aspect is time and– wait was that the doorbell?

“Tuna!” You shout into the hallway, “Door!”

A growl drifts out of Mituna’s respiteblock, then the Troll himself follows it a few moments later, shuffling through the livingblock and bumping into something hard enough to make him yelp “ _Shit-fuck-titties-fuck!_ ” at the top of his voice before answering the door. You put your hand over your mouth to muffle a chuckle, and listen intently to see if Dave needs reminding of his offer to you or not. Unfortunately, your block is at the back of the apartment and has impeccable soundproofing, so you don’t hear anything until Mituna calls your name.

“What?” You yell back.

“Your boyfriend ith here.”

“Which one?” It had better not be ED. You don’t need that shit tonight.

“Uh,” a slight pause, “the one who’th name I don’t know.”

Oh, that means it’s Dave.

“Okay, gimme a thec.” You get up and stretch, waiting for the satisfying crack of your shoulder blades before you emerge from your block.

Mituna is standing in the doorway to his, grinning at you with his tongue sticking out slightly, “Tho, you got bored enough to make a booty call?”

“Actually if you mutht know, my _friend_ Dave invited himthelf over – that’th hith name by the way, _Dave_ , ath if thith ithn’t the _billionth_ time I’ve fucking told you.”

Mituna rolls his eyes – you assume, you can’t actually see them under that mop he calls hair – and pats your head, “Jeeth okay, calm down before you blow a futhe.”

Half of your pan wants to blow more than just a fuse and send him through the back wall of his respiteblock with a healthy dose of psionics, but the other part of you remembers that although he may be a dick sometimes, Mituna is a good ancestor-descendant-brother-whatever, and knows just the right amount of static that should accompany his lopsided ‘ _you know I don’t mean it_ ’ smile as he ruffles the hair between your horns. You’d met him in the dream bubbles before the universe reset, when he was still… Broken, as most of the other dancestors called him. At the time you thought they were exaggerating; that he was always a bit kooky and after his accident he just couldn’t control it. But he spent most of his time violently flipping between naively happy, angry at nothing, scared of his own shadow, or just plain miserable, and after the endgame ‘fixed’ him, you realised what they meant when they talked about the ‘old’ Mituna.

He’s still an asshole who harbours a deep obsession with sex jokes that Rose would no doubt find fascinating, but there’s something softer about him, like how he knows when to stop joking and sometimes just asks how you’re doing, or offers you a lemon tea with honey if he’s making himself one. It’s better for everyone else too, as much as Latula still tries to coddle him like he’s a wiggler and you thought their Matespritship was going to crumble just because her boyfriend didn’t need her all the time anymore. You think they’ve sorted things out now though, if the noises from their ‘sleepovers’ that keep you awake are anything to go by. You need to upgrade your sound insulation to accommodate for girlish screaming, and you don’t mean Latula’s.

“Hey, you guys done or do I have to take a number for a Captor bro-bonding session?” Dave has poked his head around into the corridor, poker-faced as ever and without a hint of mockery in his tone. He takes sarcasm to a whole new level.

You blink and realise that Mituna is still petting you like a barkbeast, so you slap his hand away with a spark and step out of reach to talk to Dave. Your dancestor snickers, but retreats back into his block instead of following.

“You’re late.” You tell Dave, folding your arms.

“That’s because I was getting this for you,” He decaptchalogues a jar and throws it into the air for you to catch with your psionics, “can’t turn up to a date without a present and I thought you’d like this more than chocolate or flowers.”

You lower the jar into your hands, allowing a quick smile to quirk your mouth when you see the ‘ _Roxy’s Baybees_ ’ label of the best – and only – honey manufacturer in the world. Well, safely edible honey anyway, the mind honey your bees make is probably ten times better, but it sends normal Trolls into a week-long coma and, well, you already know what it does to psionics, so it’s not worth risking it with everyone’s new bodies. Maybe you’ll shove some down Eridan’s throat next time he’s being particularly annoying, and then lock him in a room somewhere in case it’s no longer a sedative. Actually, scratch that plan, it’s awful. Karkat would lose his shit if he found out anyway.

“Is that okay or would you have preferred some imminently deceased posies?”

You snap your head up to look at Dave. Shit you forgot to say anything.

“No, yeah, thith ith great, thankth.” Smooth as a grub’s ass Captor. Good fucking job.

Dave nods, “Cool.”

“Um,” God, this is why you hate being social, it’s so damn awkward, “wanna play a game or thomething?”

“Sure.” He follows you to your block with his hands in his pockets, waiting until you plop down on the sofa before joining you. “So are we actually going to play this time, or are you going to be ‘offline’ again?”

You elbow him in the side and then shove a controller into his hands, “Shut the fuck up and prepare to get your ath whooped.”

You can’t tell if Dave’s silence when he plays is normal, or if he’s tryharding like a bitch and that’s how he manages to beat you in the final round of Trollcartz, but either way you can feel your hair beginning to resemble a spikebeast by the time you cross the finish line a twentieth of a second later than him. You put the controller down and smooth a hand over your head, hoping that Dave didn’t notice.

“Tho ith thith bro-date thing done now?”

“It’s been like an hour.” Dave says, folding his arms and staying put on the couch.

You shrug, “And?”

“I said this was a date, I’m not having it go on the Strider record that I had a date that lasted less than sixty minutes and consisted of playing computer games.”

“KK put you up to thith didn’t he?”

“No.”

“ED?”

“No.”

Your eyes narrow, “It wath FF wathn’t it?”

“Nobody put me up to it,” Dave tells you firmly, “I just wanted to drag you out of your fucking room for once.”

You smirk, “TZ dumped you didn’t she?”

“It was a mutual separation,” He replies quickly, “and it happened like last month, which you’d know if you actually talked to anyone or went outside.”

Sparks ripple across your scalp. You’re getting really fucking sick of everyone telling you to go outside; it’s not your fault that all of your hobbies involve being indoors close to an electrical socket. But you recognise the sharp bite to Dave’s tone, the same one you adopted after your ‘mutual separation’ with Feferi. He still misses Terezi.

“Tho what elthe have you got planned for me tonight?” You ask, breathing slowly to calm down your psionics.

He decaptchalogues something that looks like a miniature whirlibug, along with a large, square controller.

“What’th that?”

“It’s a remote control helicopter,” He replies, “come on, I’ll show you.” He picks up both objects and carries them through your hive, waiting for you at the front door.

You let out as long of a sigh as you can manage, but get up anyway and traipse after him.

He sets the whirlibug down on your lawnring, and after he flicks a switch on the controller box, it ascends into the air and hovers slightly above eye-level. Okay, you were doubtful at first, but that’s actually pretty damn cool. How did Alternia not have these?

“It’s cool right?” Dave says, not taking his eyes off of the little flying machine.

“Yeah.” You let a smile form around the word.

“Want to try it?”

“Thure.” That came out surprisingly casual, considering how excited you are to try this thing.

He lands the whirlibug and then passes the controller to you, “This stick controls the height, and this one steers, the more you move them the quicker it goes, oh and flick this if you want to turn it off but try to land it before you do that.”

He points to the controls as he describes them, ending up shoulder-to-shoulder with you when he reaches to tap the power switch.

“I got it.” You say, deliberately avoiding looking at him as you find a comfortable position for your hands.

He pats your shoulder and goes to stand behind you. Great, no pressure. You gently push the height stick upwards, watching the whirlibug intently as it rises up a foot or so. You bite your lip as your smile grows wider, if only to keep your tongue from poking out when you concentrate on making the thing move back and forth. It jerks around at first, but when you get used to the precision required you’re making it do circles in no time. It’s just like driving one on a game, except a lot more sensitive and also from a really bad camera angle.

“Not bad Captor.” Dave says.

Then just as you’re about to accept his praise with an appropriately smug ‘thanks’, you have a momentary lapse in concentration and almost send the whirlibug flying into a wall. Almost, because as soon as your thumb moved, there was a pair of warm hands covering yours.

“Careful man,” Dave says, guiding your fingers to put the bug safely back on the ground, “these things are kinda twitchy.”

“Yeah.” You loosen your grip a little, but Dave doesn’t take the controller away from you.

“Don’t worry, it happens to everyone, and you were doing pretty good until then,” He moves his hands back to rest them on your wrists, “you’re a natural.”

Is he flush-flirting with you? The heat prickling your skin seems to conclude that yes, he is, but your pan is more rational and says that no, he’s not. Really, who would want to be Matesprits with you? Even with Feferi she was only flushed for you because you saved her, after the game it just sort of devolved into Moirails with benefits and then nothing at all. You had to _literally_ kill yourself to fill your heart quadrant. So no, nobody would want to be Matesprits with you under non-life-threatening circumstances.

“Thankth,” You say, stepping away from Dave and giving him back the controller, “you can go now if you want, ED probably needth you or thomething, or KK.”

“No way,” He catches your shoulder and turns you to face him, “I came over here for you, I’m sure my other quadrants will survive without basking in my glorious presence for one night.”

You can’t see his eyes through two sets of coloured glasses, but it’s as if you can feel him looking right into yours, stripping away every wall you put up and just seeing _you_ , Sollux Captor; weedy, nerdy, looser, coder asshole, and someone that he for some reason wants to sacrifice a few human hours of his time to be with.

“Okay.” You say, and Dave _smiles_ , like actually smiles, because of _you_.

“It’s settled then; I’m not leaving here until you’re flying this thing like a veteran.” He lets you have the controller again, standing right beside you this time as he teaches you all of the cool manoeuvres that the ‘helicopter’ can pull off.

Your name is Sollux Captor, and you still don’t know what a bro-date is, but you would definitely go on one again. As long as it’s with Dave, that is.

** > CHARACTER SELECT: **

** DAVE ** ** KARKAT          ERIDAN         SOLLUX**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be pale but it turned out kind of flushed - oh well! I didn't realise how cute this ship was until I wrote this.
> 
> So, votes for next chapter;  
> Dave for DaveKat  
> Karkat for EriKar  
> Eridan for EriSol
> 
> ((I do count votes from previous chapters by the way))
> 
> I hope you enjoyed and thank you for reading <3


	3. With a Movie (Karkat/Eridan)

CHARACTER SELECT:

DAVE            > KARKAT        ERIDAN          SOLLUX

CONFIRM SELECTION:

NO              > YES

You are now Karkat Vantas, blindfolded with your Matesprit’s scarf and lying in a pile of cushions outside. No, it is not some pailing kink thing, you gutter-brained shitmuncher, it is in fact part of a very romantic gesture that may or may not lead to a passionate encounter involving a certain receptacle later on. Or maybe it won’t, but you don’t need to know that. What you do need to know, is that you are Karkat, and you’ve been out here for like ten minutes since Eridan sat you down, gave you a kiss, and then darted off without removing your obstructive eyewear. No explanation, just a “wwait here lovve” and then he was gone. He’s always doing this, surprising you even after you told him that you hate surprises, but you can never be mad at him because he’s so fucking sweet about it, like dental-rottingly, pan-meltingly, pusher-breakingly sweet, and you just… You sigh. Okay, this is getting a bit out of hand, you sound like a loved-up movie character, which is pretty accurate but also pretty embarrassing.

You sit up at the sound of footsteps, just in time for a pair of cold arms to thread themselves around your waist. The unmistakable scent of seaside air that’s been doused in perfume fills your nose. Hmm he’s wearing rose tonight, how romantic.

“You took your time.” You say, tipping your head back to nuzzle Eridan’s neck.

He chuckles, his fins fluttering, and you don’t just feel them but _hear_ them too; the little ‘pat-pat’ sounds as the spines tap against the side of his head, and the gentle rustling as they brush through your own hair. Eridan was right, all of your other senses are so much sharper when you can’t see, like how you can feel the way he’s breathing a little unevenly – probably trying to sniff your hair, which apparently smells great regardless of when you last washed it – or how his right hand is warmer than his left as he subtly fingers your gills through your shirt.

He pulls you closer and plants a kiss on one of your horns, sending chills running through your nerves, “Did you miss me?”

You can make out the shape of his lips with every syllable, his breath warm and a little damp against the soft velvet. Oh wait, he’s licking your horn, God that’s, wow, okay, yeah you’re into this. You let out a sigh that’s just shy of a moan, your spine rattled by a shiver. It’s times like this when you actually don’t hate how over-sensitive your stupid nubby horns are. Then you start to purr, the familiar tingling spreading over your scalp, and decide that you should probably stop this before you get all worked up.

“Mhm, quit teasing and show me the fucking surprise already,” You mumble in a half-hearted protest, “if you keep this shit up I won’t be able to appreciate all of your hard work.”

“Sorry lovve,” He says, moving down to kiss your neck, “I couldn’t resist you like this.”

“Well try harder, because I would actually like to regain my vision at some point.”

He gives a soft whine, letting his teeth graze over your skin so gently that it almost tickles. If this was anyone else, you would be so terrified that you couldn’t breathe, but even when Eridan’s got his fangs just millimetres from your jugular, your chest swells with nothing but love and pity for him, and the tenderness of his touch tells you that he feels the same.

“I didn’t say never again, I just said not now,” You tell him, nudging his face with your nose, “I mean you’ve clearly gone to a lot of trouble to set up whatever the fuck you’ve set up, and I want to see it so I’ve got a reason to fawn over you later.”

He brings his hands up to your shoulders, humming as he rests his cheek against your head, “You drivve a hard bargain Vvantas, but I think I can agree to those terms, as long as you keep your end a the deal.”

You can tell that he’s smiling, and it drags your own lips into a slight curl, “Are you saying that you don’t trust me Ampora?”

“I don’t trust anyone wwho can make me forget my owwn name just by havvin’ it on their lips.” His fingers trail down your back, lingering on the hem of your shirt before moving back up again, tracing the curve of your body, “But I couldn’t doubt your wword evven if I wwanted to.”

Your blood-pusher flutters like the first time you kissed him, and as he begins to loosen the blindfold, you turn your head so that his face is the first thing you see. Yet another positive of being blindfolded – your shitty night-vision has time to adjust beforehand. The scarf drops into your lap, and after a couple of blinks your Matesprit’s smile comes in to focus. There’s a light purple dusting the points of his cheeks, freckles on the grey skin mirroring the flecks of violet in his eyes. You want to map out each tiny spot of colour across his face and body, watch the way they light up in the water like stars, make constellations that only you will get to see. You reach up and stroke his hair, the waves soft and silky, void of any product just the way you like it. His eyes close and he tilts his head, guiding a horn into your hand and beginning to purr when you press your thumb against the base. He’s got such a lovely purr.

You could sit there forever, watching the sea-dweller gradually fall into a state of complete relaxation, then you’d curl up next to him and just listen to his pusher-beat until you fell asleep. But Eridan promised you a surprise, and you are damn well going to get one – the horn rub can be saved for his reward later.

He pouts when you take your hand away, so you reposition it to his jaw and pull him close for a chaste, gentle kiss.

“Don’t do that.” You say against his lips, “Now what is it you wanted to show me?”

His face lights up and he jumps to his feet, pulling you along by your wrists and then grabbing your shoulders again to make you face his ‘surprise’. Wow, now this _is_ a surprise. There’s a huge projection screen set up under a nearby tree, black curtains framing it and little lights dotted amongst the branches. Then you notice the wooden tub in front of it a few metres away, about nine hands deep and full of steaming water.

“So that’s why you told me to wear trunks instead of pants.” You say, smirking up at Eridan.

It also explains why Sollux was so insistent on you coming over to his hive earlier; Eridan would have needed a lot of time to set this up in your back lawnring.

He squeezes your arms and you can tell that he wants so badly to just drag you into the water, “Do you like it?”

You turn and wrap your arms around his chest, nuzzling into his shirt, “It’s perfect.” You were so close to tagging ‘ _you’re perfect_ ’ onto the end of that, but you don’t want either of you getting all soppy and weepy just yet, that can wait until you’re watching the probably-tragically-romantic movie that Eridan’s chosen. You bet it’ll be historical too. He’s a sucker for shit like that.

Grateful that you had the hindsight to face your lawnring away from everyone else’s hives, you strip down to your swimming shorts and climb into the water. It’s just the right temperature – solving yet another mystery of why one of Eridan’s hands was warm – and you can feel your muscles relaxing as you sink down up to your shoulders with a sigh. Eridan is still fucking around with the projector, so you take the opportunity to give your gills a stretch, going just far enough underwater so that you can inhale water through your mouth and still watch your Matesprit work over the rim of the tub. Mmm yes; a tight ass in even tighter jeans. Who needs a movie when you’ve got a view like this? You blame Eridan for turning you into such a perv with all of his comments on your own posterior.

Then when he’s finished, you get to watch him tug his clothes off before slipping into the water next to you. His skin flushes purple from the heat, and you slip your hand into his just to see the way your colours look together – as if you haven’t seen it countless times already.

“Howw’s the wwater treatin’ your gills?” He asks, shuffling closer until your legs are touching.

You switch back to breathing air and sit up, “It’s good, really good,” You kiss his shoulder and then rest your head there, “is it brackish?” A smile breaks through on the last word – you feel so much closer to Eridan now that you know all of the aquatic terminology. It also makes you feel smart which is never a bad thing.

Eridan nods, “Mhm, mixed the minerals myself an’ evveryfin’.” He sounds so proud of himself, it’s fucking adorable.

“Well aren’t you a clever fish?” You tease, using your free hand to poke just below his gills.

He flinches and pokes you back – and for once you don’t squeak – then chuckles and slides an arm around your shoulders. He’s almost as warm as Sollux by this point and a few perigees ago you might have been worried, but Eridan explained that sea-dwellers have incredible temperature regulation, so they can handle warmer temperatures than land Trolls on that end of the spectrum. It makes things like this a _lot_ easier to arrange, and far less stressful than if you were having to worry about one of you overheating or freezing.

He’s beginning to glow softly as you look up at him – his eyes, and freckles, and the coloured streak in his hair giving off this faint violet aura that makes him look beautifully ethereal – and you can’t help delaying the start of the movie with a kiss when he reaches for the projector remote. He returns the pressure so tenderly, waiting until you suck lightly on his bottom lip before coaxing your tongue slowly into his mouth, as if a bit of eagerness might scare you off. Normally you would show him that he doesn’t need to be so careful with you, but tonight it just feels right to take things leisurely, trading lazy kisses surrounded by warmth and the sensation of almost floating.

He pulls back after a few minutes, clearing his throat before he asks, “So do you wwant to wwatch the movvie or...?”

You raise an eyebrow when he gestures to your hive with his thumb, “Yes I want to watch the movie, we can pick up where we left off after I have been suitably romanced within an inch of my dear blood-pusher’s life.”

He smirks, pulling you back against his side and kissing your forehead as he switches on the projector.

Apparently you’ll be watching ‘In which a respectable Legislacerator falls flushed for the rebellious Moirail of the Jade-blood that he has been arranged to form a Matespritship with whilst said Moirail is in the process of removing herself from an unhealthy Kismessitude and climbing the social ranks as a respected female in her own right which he finds both admirable and pitiable in a way that only furthers his desire to pursue a red relationship with her even as he becomes Matesprits with the Jade-blood that was decided for him by his Moirail’ and, well, you won’t go on because it will ruin the plot, but basically it’s a damn good movie, and Eridan has just gained himself several Matesprit points for his already overflowing ego.

You spend the entire time huddled up against him, tangling your fingers in the hair at the base of his neck, and stealing kisses whenever something unimportant happens on screen. You don’t cry in the emotional scenes, because you’re seven sweeps now dammit and seven-sweep-olds don’t cry at movies, plus you’ve seen this like ten times so you really should be used to it by now. But you do come close at the end when that stupid Legislacerator doesn’t go to see the flush of his life when he’s literally _outside of her hivestem_. It gets you every fucking time, and Eridan must have noticed because he gives you a particularly tight hug when the credits begin to roll.

“Thank you for all of this.” You tell him with a surprisingly steady voice, splaying your hand over his chest to feel the beat of his blood-pusher.

“You’re wwelcome,” He says, carding his fingers through your hair, “it’s the least I could do for the best Matesprit in the wworld. Any wworld I mean, not just this one ‘cause there’s only like fuckin' thirty of us so that wwouldn’t be much of a compliment.” He adds, letting out a nervous laugh that turns genuine after you join in. Then he cups your face in his hands, his expression oddly serious, “I just wwanted to givve you a night off, ‘cause I knoww you’vve been wworkin’ yourself to the bone tryin’ to get evverythin’ set up here, an’ I think you’re doin’ a fuckin' fantastic job lovve, but try to remember to think about yourself once in a wwhile, okay?”

You sigh, because you can’t afford to think about yourself whilst there’s still a mind-bogglingly long list of alchemical recipes to discover, but the way Eridan’s looking at you, all barkbeast eyes and tentative smile, it makes you want to relinquish your job as leader and just lay around with him all night every night.

“Alright, I’ll try.” You say, bumping your noses together, “As long as you keep up your end of our bargain.”

“Wwith the blindfold?” He asks, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

You peck a kiss to his lips, then jump out of the water – which you regret doing because it’s fucking freezing – and grab his scarf, running back to your hive with your Matesprit in tow.

> CHARACTER SELECT:

DAVE            KARKAT          ERIDAN        SOLLUX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My precious babies <3 that's all there is to say. 
> 
> Oh actually no it's not; in case you're interested, the movie was a Troll version of 'age of innocence' so I guess spoilers if you haven't seen it!
> 
> Anyway, I love these two dorks and I hope you all enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. (I also feel compelled to write the 'blindfold incident' that follows this, so let me know if that's a thing you would like to see)
> 
> Votes for next chapter;  
> Dave will be DaveKat  
> Eridan will be EriSol


	4. With Flowers (Dave/Karkat)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dave and Eridan have been tied with votes for like a week now so I decided to post the Dave chapter since it's the one I have written already ^^;

** CHARACTER SELECT: **

> DAVE          KARKAT          ERIDAN         SOLLUX

** CONFIRM SELECTION: **

** NO              > YES **

You are now Dave Strider, standing outside of a Hive that has red tarps on the second floor balcony, and holding a bouquet of very dangerous looking, but thankfully very dead, alien flowers. You’ve given it a few seconds but nobody replied to your knock on the door, so you try again, louder.

“For fuck’s sake just give me one Goddamn minute!”

Wow, Karkat’s loud even through a layer of whatever weird Alternian material this building is made of, and you’d thought it was just the shitty insulation on the meteor letting you hear him rant several rooms away. You time exactly sixty seconds and then tap the door again when it doesn’t open; hey, you’re the knight of time, it’s your job to keep this shit under wraps, got to let people know when they’re going to be late for something. A hate-date specifically, with the guy they’ve been trying to seduce into blackrom for a solid three years, but he was a Human so it didn’t really work until the game pulled one final ‘fuck you’ and decided that neither Humans nor Trolls would be the dominant species.

Seconds later, the door is almost ripped off of its organic hinges, and you find yourself under the seething glare of a very angry little Troll. Even his hair is bristling, and it takes a lot of self-control not to laugh when your brain compares him to all of those funny cat gifs that used to go viral on the internet.

“When I say a minute, Strider,” He begins, barely releasing the tension on his gritted teeth as the words force their way through, “I do not mean a precise sixty seconds into the future, you utter sack of nook sucking shit, and I don’t care if your new anatomy gets all excited by the prospect of supposedly besting someone by functioning as a walking fucking time piece. It wasn’t funny when you were God tier, and it’s not funny now – or ironic either, not that anybody except you and your bulge actually knows what irony is, because apparently none of us mere mortals are ‘cool’ enough to understand the satire that you expel from your waste chute on a near constant basis.”

Nice, he’s on form today.

“I’m glad you’ve finally realised that, it’ll make things a lot easier than trying to explain myself to someone who uses genitalia as an insult,” You shove the bouquet of death at him, “also, have these.”

He looks at the flowers, then back at you, his face the picture of an unimpressed rich girl whose boyfriend bought her a car worth less than daddy’s last pay check, “What the fuck is this?”

“It’s a Human custom to bring flowers when you go on a date.”

“So you decided to give me a festering handful of decrepit Suvealian BloodTraps?” He eyes the flower heads warily, as if they might spring back to life and attack him at the mere mention of their name.

“Okay I didn’t actually know what they were, but they looked pretty nasty so I thought it’d fit with the whole ‘I want to kill you but I won’t’ thing that we’re going for in this quadrant.”

Karkat tips his head back and lets out a long sigh, “Where in your tiny, formerly Human psyche, did you concoct the idea that the way of turning a gesture of redrom affection into a blackrom one, is to give your partner a deadly and also expired version of said flushed romantic token?”

You pretend to actually ponder his question, tapping your chin with a thoughtful hum until he looks ready to lose his cool – which doesn’t take all that long – before you speak, “I’d say somewhere near the part that’s always thinking about how nice it would be to smash your face into a wall, but I can’t be sure because that happens a lot, sorry dude.”

He almost does the job for you, creating a satisfying ‘thud’ as his forehead takes the full force of his head dropping against the doorframe, “Fine, whatever,” he huffs, then stands up and snatches the flowers, dropping them on the floor behind him like a used tissue as he closes the door, “let’s get this shitshow on the road before I eat one of those putrid things just to rid myself of the suffering that I endure in your presence.”

You walk in silence for all of the two and a half minutes that it takes to get to your apartment complex down the street, and Karkat gets all impatient when you spend an extra few seconds pretending to look for the right key to your front door. He doesn’t say anything of course, but you could tell that he was eager by the way his hands are fisted in your shirt before you’ve even captchalogued your coat. He bites at your lower lip as you wrestle your arms out of the Goddamn stupid fabric, and if you hadn’t been quick enough, you think he would have ripped it off just to get at your neck and reinstate the deep red hickey that had finally begun to fade from your grey skin.

He shoves his knee between your legs as his mouth mirrors the mark on your left side, keeping you symmetrical just the way he likes it. He’s so methodical about everything, first outlining the future love bite with a trail of pinkish saliva, his flexible Troll-tongue writhing hot against your skin like another part of his body that clearly wants in on the action. He used to get all self-conscious about it, try to pull away as soon as he realised, but now he just focusses on his work, gently sucking until he can get his teeth around a choice piece of cool-kid and bite. You manage to control all of the Troll noises bubbling in your throat, in spite of only having the ability to make them for a few months, but Karkat predictably lacks the luxury of command over his voice box, and lets out a strangled whine as you repay the favour by shoving your thigh into his crotch.

He lets go of your shirt to tangle his claws in your hair, a growl warbling its way out of his throat. You hook your hands behind his knees, dig your nails in until he gasps and then pull him up, using the wall behind for support. It’s great that he’s so enthusiastic, but even in blackrom it’s pretty uncomfortable having to bend down to kiss your partner when he’s 5ft nothing and you can reach the top shelf on the cabinet. Karkat squeaks but quickly turns it into another growl, clinging to your hair so hard that he might end up with a handful as a souvenir if he’s not careful.

“Hey man go easy on the ‘do,” You tell him, retracting your leg to pull his hips flush against yours, “I’m like Rapunzel, if you tear that shit out I lose my magic.”

“Hah, right, and I’m Cinderbella, now take me to the fucking ball jackass.” He punctuates the insult by relocating a hand to one of your horns and pulling hard.

You almost want to laugh at his butchering of the beloved Princess’ name, but your mouth is too busy smashing into Karkat’s when he uses his leverage to drag your face forwards. He’s more teeth than tongue, preferring to nip and suck until you can taste your own blood. Honestly, you’re more into the slow burner type of make outs, where it starts all teasing and playful, then one of you goes in for the kill and you play an extra-long game of mouth-twister until someone’s teeth catch and then the pitch kicks in. But a desperate Karkat is fine too, especially because it means you stay perfectly in control whilst he gets himself all worked up.

Yep. Completely and utterly composed. Definitely not using Karkat’s weight to stop your hips from bucking upwards. That was also _not_ an honest to God fucking chirp that you just panted into his mouth, and there is no reason for him to be smiling like he’s just won a two-hour game of monopoly. Then his expression drops into a frown and he pulls back.

“Is this okay? Am I going too fast?” He asks so genuinely, placing his hands flat on the wall behind you to steady himself as his dazed eyes flicker across your face.

For as much as you’re still not sure about Kismesissitude, Karkat always has these fleeting moments where he doubts the way he’s teaching you about it. He’ll stop suddenly and just ask if you’re okay, as if he’s not walking the line between tearing your throat out and sticking his tongue down it. Part of you wants to tease him about it, show him that you _do_ know how to blackrom, but the still very human portion of your brain thanks him for it.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” You reply, then take a deep breath and captchalogue your glasses, “just don’t wanna damage the shades, guess I should have taken them off beforehand.”

He rolls his eyes, but there’s a smirk back on his blushing face, “Are you sure?”

“Totally,” You lean forwards and catch his lip briefly between your teeth, sending a shiver rippling over his body, “this is great.”

Reassured by your probably-too-red encouragement, he lets his hands relax onto your shoulders and resumes his assault on your neck, trailing rough kisses up to your ear where he begins prodding around with his tongue and _dear God that was almost a fucking keen you let out there_. Karkat notices, and chuckles slightly as he clamps his fangs around your earlobe. Okay, this shit is going too far, he’s had his time on top, now it’s your turn. You lower him back to the floor – in spite of his whining protests – and then switch positions, shoving him up against the wall before picking him up again.

“Mmh, trying to be dominant are we?” He teases, cocking an eyebrow at you, “Didn’t know you had it in you Strider.”

“I wanted to check that you were worthy of having me, not sure if I should be sad or happy to say that you passed with so many flying fucking colours that it’s like someone launched a whole generation of grubs across the sky, and as those little shits were falling to their doom they spelled out your name and cheered you on because God knows you need it Vantas, you quivering,” You kiss him, “gorgeous,” another kiss, “shitfaced,” one more for luck, “wreck of a Troll.”

“Jeez, Human m-marry me why don’t you?” He’s trying to sound suave, but his voice is shaking almost as much as his legs as he wraps them around your waist, pressing his heels into the small of your back and making you arch towards him.

“Only if we can get a dog.” You say, perhaps a little more aggressively than you intended.

Karkat laughs between his gasping breaths, unable to vocalise a come-back even though you know he’d probably have spouted dozens at you by now if he could. Taking advantage of this rare break in the arguing, you pay him back for the hickeys and run your tongue right along his Troll equivalent of a jugular, the thrumming of his frantic heartbeat making yours want to match it. He moans with each red mark you mouth onto his skin, claws gripping your back right through the shirt fabric. You shove your leg back between his so that he’s practically sitting on it, sending him further up the wall with a sharp thrust. Then you all but drop him back onto his feet when something goes ‘bang’ and he almost deafens you with a yelp.

“Shit are you okay?” You grab his shoulders to steady him as he wraps his hands around his head.

“What the fuck is _wrong_ with you?” He growls, backing into the wall almost bent double, “Why did you ram my head into a shelf you fucking bulgemuncher?”

“I forgot it was there.”

“This is _your_ apartment!” He finally lifts his head to glare at you, “What piece of nookrotting shit just _forget_ s where their shelves are?”

Well he’s still swearing like a sailor so you can’t have done too much damage. He groans and leans forwards into your chest.

“Sorry man.” You say, patting him on the back.

“You’re a fucking idiot,” He tells your shirt, “and now we’re going to flip red or pale or some shit because you were too busy talking about our future matrimonial negotiations to remember where you put your Goddamn horizontal displays – what is it made of anyway? Fucking drone carapace?”

“Walnut actually,” You reply, glancing up at the offending article, which now has a large crack in the middle of two dents, “or it was, think it’s going to need replacing now.”

“Oh boo-fucking-hoo.” He grumbles.

“Want an ice pack or something?”

“No, I don’t need your shitty frozen water cubes.”

Wow, reverting to all of the long-winded Alternian names for things; he must be really mad.

“You sure? I don’t think Eri will like me much if I send you back with an egg between your horns.”

He huffs and pulls back, wincing as he presses on the top of his head, “Fine, but this is by no means an acceptance of your ruddy coddling.”

“Ruddy?”

“It means red dipshit.”

“I know, it’s just that I’ve never heard anyone except Eridan use it.”

His response to this is an embarrassed growl and a kick aimed at your ankles, which you narrowly avoid by jumping towards the freezer to grab said shitty water cubes.

He hisses when you lower the ice pack onto his head, but sighs once it settles, his pained expression melting into relief.

“You can stop looking at me like I’m going to pass out now,” He says, “I had worse head injuries when I was paying that God forsaken game, I’ll be fine, trust me.”

“But you were a Troll then,” You argue, “you’ve got some Human in you now, we are – were – pretty delicate creatures.”

He scoffs, “Yeah, I noticed.”

Seeing that he isn’t going to listen to reason, you decide to take matters into your own hands; literally.

“Hey! Woah! What the fuck?” He screeches, flailing as you hoist him into your arms bridal style.

“I’m being a gentleman.”

“Is this another ‘Human tradition’? Because if it is you can shove it up your non-Human nook and _put me down right now_!”

“No can do, you’re mine now, me Dave you Karkat, I’m taking you to my love nest.”

He slaps the hand not holding the ice pack over his eyes, “Please tell me you did not just misquote that movie about a feral Human whilst implying that I am playing the role of prissy damsel in distress?”

You keep quiet and carry him into your bedroom, dumping him as carefully as one can dump their Kismesis onto your bed. Then you decaptchalogue your laptop and pull up said movie on the network that you and Sollux set up – it’s totally going to be called Netflix eventually. Or Trollflix if you’re feeling charitable.

“Oh my God we are _not_ –”

You put your finger to his lips, “Shh, it’s cultural enrichment time.”

He rolls his eyes, but doesn’t make any further protest. That is until the movie is on and he feels the need to commentate on it, quadrants shipping and all. You’d be lying if you said this was the best hate-date ever, but if you take out the part where you almost cracked your boyfriend’s skull open, it comes surprisingly close considering you kept all of your clothes on. That might have to change if Karkat is up for it later though.

** > CHARACTER SELECT: **

DAVE          KARKAT          ERIDAN         SOLLUX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be EriSol, then after that we're on to the pale pairs (EriDave and SolKat)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this, it was my first time writing proper DaveKat (which I only recently started shipping cause it used to be kind of a NOTP for me - I have no idea what changed lol) but anyway yeah, one chapter left in this section, sorry I'm taking so long with these! UuU

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this! Kudos and comments are always appreciated, and please let me know who you would like to see next!
> 
> Also I now headcannon that Trolls have emotion-reactive studio Ghibli hair, thanks to a post from tumblr user curlicuecal, which you can find [here](http://curlicuecal.tumblr.com/post/131382982460/troll-hair-floof-attack)!
> 
> As always, have a nice day my dear reader ~
> 
> I now have a Tumblr! You can ask questions about this or any of my other fics and AUs, or just pop along to say hi! http://slavetomykeyboard.tumblr.com


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